i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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