Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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