I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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