it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
