ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
