My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
