I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
