One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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