I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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