Hey man sorry I got all grabby
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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