thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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