...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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