Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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