Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
