I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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