I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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