I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
