Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
