ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
