I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
