Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
