It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
