how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
