yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
