Christians are straight up FREAKS
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
