i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
