This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
