My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
