I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
