but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
