forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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