Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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