Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
