Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
