I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
