so that wasnt chicken after all
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
