Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
