my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
