hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
