Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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