dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
