Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
