know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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