If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
