Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
