I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
