when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
