just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
