somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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