You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
